From Theory To Praxis
I believe that God will let us do pretty much anything we want- even the stuff that breaks His heart and destroys us. But it doesn't mean that God wants it that way. Just seems to be a pesky consequence of free-will. To counterbalance this, God speaks wisdom into our lives that can help us avoid bad choices and the brokenness that comes with them.
Drink What's In Front of You
For much of the book of Proverbs, Solomon (the author) is a sniper- firing off one or two sentences about each topic. He breaks the pattern when it comes to sex- spending the better part of three consecutive chapters (5-7) calling us to use this gift wisely. One way to summarize his counsel is: enjoy the expressions of intimacy that are available to you today. If you are married, pursue oneness (sexual and otherwise) with your spouse. Married people aren't just allowed to be intimate- they need to be. If you are single, pursue (non sexual) intimacy with God, friends, family, your faith community, etc. God isn't trying to deprive us pleasure, but to ensure that we avoid the pain that comes from misusing this gift and put ourselves in a position to fully enjoy our sexuality.
But What About?
While God gives us very specific guidelines about how to use our sexuality, that doesn't mean that there are easy, single answers to every question on this topic. This week we invited some folks from the Connections Community to submit some questions about sex. Here's a summary of what we received:
How do we make sex a holy thing and acknowledge the spiritual component of it?Use these questions as fodder for conversations about sex in your own circle of friends. And use the comments feature to add your own wonderings and/or share your perspectives.
How do we teach our kids about sex from a spiritual standpoint? How can we create an atmosphere of openness in our homes so that our kids will feel comfortable asking questions and having conversations about sex?
What does God think about birth control? Are we interfering with the gift of being co-creators?
How do we find the right balance in reveling in the wonder of sexual intimacy without letting it become self-serving or distracting us from our relationship with God?
What (if anything) can we do to help folks who have been abstaining from sex because they aren’t married make a smooth transition to engaging in sexual intimacy? How do you flip that switch from “this is wrong” to “this is good and you need to do/like it”?
How should a married couple go about setting sexual limits in their relationship? There are lots of ways to be sexually intimate with each other- are some inherently right/wrong? What do we do if one wants to be intimate in a way the other doesn’t?
What does it mean for a single person to honor God with their sexuality? Does being single mean we are non-sexual beings? Are some forms of sexual intimacy ok for non-married people?
We usually talk about sexuality in terms of intercourse and climax. How would God want us to expand that definition?
Do men and women view sex differently (generally speaking)? What insights would each gender offer the other?
Has the church made sex taboo? If so, how? What problems has this led to?
2 comments:
Fred, I would like to see you featured on Oprah answering these questions. If you can answer all these then Oprah should know and then she would invite you to appear on her show.
I never claimed that I could answer them Dexter, or that there's just one answer for each.
Just hope they serve as conversation starters.
But if Oprah calls, I'll go and take my best shot. =)
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