Prayer- Forgive Us, Help Us Forgive Others

I hate tangles. I know hate is a strong word, but I'm using it. Tangles complicate my life, raise my stress level and take valuable time (and sometimes money) to fix. Case in point: Christmas lights. Every year we take the time to wrap them up neatly and somehow in the 11 months they sit in storage they congeal into one huge mass of a mess. I think this passive aggressive behavior is a sign that they don't like being ignored, but that's another conversation.

Now what was I saying? Oh yes, tangles are a hassle and a given. Whether it's Christmas lights, fishing line, hair, the dog leash, shoe laces, a business deal, a relationship, or our souls- snags will find us. Jesus knows this of course, and offers us this simple prayer to help us do some detangling:

"Forgive us as we forgive others"

DIVINE TANGLES
The Scriptures are clear that no person is perfect. All of us have failed to live up to our own good intentions, much less the image of God in us. We're all rebels and outlaws, and not the cool kind in the movies that ladies seem to dig. But do we really need the Bible to tell us this? An honest look into each of our hearts reveals snags and twists in our connection with God. So how do we fix it? We don't. Tangles of the soul are beyond our clumsy fingers. They require the spiritual dexterity and sacrificial love of Jesus. Keep in mind this gift of mercy isn't simply to offset our guilt and send us on our way, or to clean our slate once and burden us with the pursuit of moral perfection. God invites us to love and live with Him- tangles and all.

CROSSED LINES
Some tangles happen as different lines intersect with and wrap around each other. But when it comes to detangling our souls, God does some intentional braiding. Most of the time I want to be forgiven and be done with it. But Jesus doesn't end his prayer there. God seems bent on the idea that we give others the freedom that He has granted us. In fact, this is the only part of the prayer that Jesus bothers to footnote. Wonder why? Maybe because we'd rather not connect our ability to be forgiven with our ability to forgive? But in God's mind, this is a given- if we want to love Him, we've got to learn to love each other.

HUMAN TANGLES
Our relationships with each other get kinked and snagged in any number of ways: miscommunication, misunderstanding, unmet expectations, selfish actions, betrayal, etc. And when things get messy, many of us would rather ignore it or cut and run. Jesus' words are very clear, but not very easy. Forgiving others is hard, especially when they don't cooperate. How can we pardon someone who doesn't seek it or won't own up to their part of the problem? We start by focusing on our end, on the things that we can control. Does setting others free mean that we act like the wrongs never happened? Ignore our emotions? Jump back into unstable, hurtful situations? I don't think so. Instead we, as William Young put it, forgiving means we "take our hands off of the other person's throat". We release our claims of vengeance and resentment in the eyes of God.

How can we possibly do that when we've been deeply hurt? I'm not sure we can on our own. And this is why Jesus has us praying about this. What God asks us to do, He will help us to do. We ask for the courage to let the mercy of God flow through us to another.

DETANGLING
Q: Where does your relationship with God feel snagged or knotted up right now? Are these new struggles, or the same things you've dealt with for sometime now?

Q: Look back at 1 John 1:9. Read the verse a few times. What words stand out to you? Why?

Q: What do you think "confessing our sins" entails? What look do you imagine on the face of God when you confess and ask for mercy?

Q: Which is easier for you: to ask God for forgiveness, to forgive others, or to forgive yourself? Which is most difficult? Why?

Q: Which is more grevious in your mind: the ways you've wronged God, or the ways others have wrong you? Is this just a mental concept, or do you feel the weight of each? Check out this story Jesus told. What does it say to you about the size and scope of our divine and human tangles?

Q: Who is their in your life (past or present) that you feel tangled up about? What can you do about it this week?